in 2019............

Hi and Assalamualaikum !

Happy New Year everyone! I've never been to get overly excited for new year, but I will excited to watch fireworks at night from my house or my college because it is free. I also don't make new year resolutions but one thing I do is reflect on my experiences during last year :) . There were lots of happy moments and sad moments, some of them I want to remember, some of them I don't want to remember. So in this post I want to recap all of the memories (sad and happy) that I should keep :).

Okay Lets Start !

1. I joined Boria Feseni UM (Did not expect for this since I am totally cannot dance :( ), but because I am one of students in Tun Ahmad Zaidi Residential College I get the opportunity to dance and lembutkan badan supaya boleh menari? (hehe) , to clarify is not because Tun Ahmad Zaidi Residential College(KK-10) is lopek ke, teruk ke, loser ke (I need to explain this because there is one time one of my college mates feel bitter that I post a status like "SERIOUSLY DAPAT MASUK BORIA" and my mind was thinking, I get the opportunity because (KK-10) is exchange students' college so the number of local students is small, so you can easily get an opportunity to join any college's activity as long as you give the full commitment , okay enough on explaining this). The training is very very tiring (huhuhu). But Alhamdulillah we managed to get at third place (yehuu) . And next year (2020) I still join boria . #BoriaForever. #BoriaForLyf3.

2. Be a facilitator in Sk Bangsar, oh this part is quite challenging and open my mind. I always think everyone in KL is really have a good life ( I mean I always think all of them is rich, and you guys know wealthy people at least have enough basic needs or anything lah) but then come to that school and we were teaching the students to study by using iLearnAce (it is like the platform u have lots of exercise, no need to buy book, what u need is computer and phone and data to access internet). The challenge is most of them, they don't have phone or computer or internet. So we basically cannot reach the target that the students will maintain continue iLearnAce :( . and ofcourse, teach them also was not easy, some of them did not know how to add, subtract the fraction. But I wish they all good ! (already lost contact since the parents ignore all my message :(((( ) #sokay #Iwishthebestforhim.

3. I fail in DS :'( . Oh this part actually quite down for me :), after 14 weeks study, I am grateful I fail this subject . Atleast when I repeat, I managed to coding without look at the notes, I manage to ensure that I bring the concept. Guess What ? me and my team doing the assignment without research any source code from internet. What we do is we drawing , we try to list the pseudo code and after that we start coding !. Alhamdulillah. Yes fail is something will bring u down, but if we open heart accept it and follow the flow , God will show you the fail is not bad. The bad thing is if you are give up !. So to the failure outside, don't give up, believe in yourself :)

4. Get to know new people in my life :) all of them are really wonderful people. Get to know my college's seniors and they are also senior in my faculty (life getting easier when it comes to assignment, but not copy paste eh, just get some idea hehe ). To be honest , I feel grateful to know one of my senior. The most person I close. This morning I WhatsApp him and tell "You are amazing thing that come to my 2019" (I am such a sweet junior and sweet friend kan ?),  but then I feel sad because this is might be the last time we meet ? next time maybe dekat majlis perkahwinan dia ( itu pun kalua dia nak jemput :( ).  #ohsad #kenapakenaadaperpisahansetiappertemuan

5. I gamble my self to come election of PEKOM because I want to see what is PEKOM, did not expect to be the Bendahari of PEKOM. Untill now , I do not know where I get the strength to get out from the comfort zone. I also one of the caretakers JTK in KK-10. (mesti macam gila kuasa nya ). I also cant believe :'). When you have lots of thing to do (works....) you will need to fight the feeling when u look other people. I always have that kind of feeling when looking at someone, they can relax , they can rest, they did not need to do paperworks, they can have so much time for themselves, look my roommates already make me jealous (If u read this don't get wrong). This year I cry lots :'), because to fight that feeling is not easy, lagi lagi benda tu dekat when u open ur eyes u can see other's life is better than you. when u cameback from class, u can see others can relax while u need to rush and go meeting (and need to brainstorm). Untill now, I could not run from this feeling (Manusia kan), but the only thing I can do it to control my emotion. Just go with the flow, God will show u the wisdom, I just need to wait :) . #butdeepinsideiwanttoendthislife #thebusylifethenolife.

6. Great carry marks for all Assignment :) . I cant believe how serabut my life this sem ( Semester 3) I can get all A/A+ for all my carry mark. Alhamdulillah. I learn from Semester 2. During Semester 2, I am lazy. Totally Lazy. After meeting I don't want to study padahal I ada test or quiz kot esok but still taknak belajar. I learned from the mistake. This sem how tired from meeting, I will stay up atleast until 2.00 am to make sure I covered all. Yes. It is for the future. I don't want to fail because of I tak usaha. Atleast, I  want to make sure I am satisfied with my effort for study. Because no effort is not good okay ! #wishmeluckexamesok.

I think that's all the thing is good to share with you guys ( I hope u guys read all). To be honest, I hate 2019. Because I think my life is full of jealous looking at other people. How I am jealous they have free time, How I wish to have all of that. How I hate myself because why I choose this path? Why don't I stay at my comfort zone ? Why I just jadi insan yang senyap, jadi insan yang dalam dunia sendiri je ? . I cant wait to this life end. I want to ensure my third year, I can do the things that I see .other people do right now :) And ya ofcourse I  wish I will be okay :)  All the best for everyone.